Boredom is a constant companion of mine that has become so much a part of my life that she, yes she, now has a name. Her name is Christina because that is my second favoritest name for a girl largely because Christina Aguilera was hot as shit back in 2004. That’s the year she had that straight platinum blonde hair and she did that song where she turns to me for the strength to carry on, cause we’re doing it, is what I’m trying to imply here.
Anyway, Christina, or X-Tina as I sometimes call her, is pretty much the center of my entire universe right now. She is my sole reason for being.
C-baby, which is what I call her when I’m not doing anything meaningful, is constantly on my mind. She’s all I can think about. Christinabananafanafofana, which is what I scream out when I’m not doing anything at all, is, I’m afraid, slowly taking over my life. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. Well okay, I can sleep pretty well and eat heartily pretty much all the time but that’s not the point.
The point is that Chrizzjizzle Mah Tinizzle, which is what I call her when I’m not feeling the crunk, is consuming my very being. I cannot live like this any longer. Please, gentle reader, help me find a cure to this madness.