What’s the one thing that movie directors like to use as a device to mask poor scriptwriting or a general lack of plot?
Yes, that’s right, it’s Jude Law.
However, today we are not here to talk about a pointlessly pointless actor whose sole claim to fame is a receding hairline and a chin that resembles a butt. No, we are here to talk about the magic of time travelling science.
In most movies that involve time travel, time travel is often used in a manner that seems insane no matter how many Keanu Reeveses appear.
Honestly, if I were Hermione in that Harry Potter movie about overcoming odds and whatever magical artifact J. K Rowling discovered while reading the abridged collection of Lord of the Rings, I would be using the Time-turner things to go back in time and kill the fuck out of Voldermort.
Also, with the awesomeness of time travel at your fingertips, why the hell would you go back in time for anything but to make a fortune at the lottery a week ago. Fuck killing dinosaurs or saving your parents’ marriage seriously. I’d use my time travelling ability to make me rich.
Now, my understanding of time travel stems largely from Bill and Ted movies. If what they depict is true, you can travel freely through time and do whatever the fuck you want with no consequences at all with regards to the space-time continuum. As everyone knows, Keanu Reeves is an expert at all things science, because holy shit, the man is Neo. Hence if what the Bill and Ted movies depict is true, and it is because Neo is in them, then why isn’t time travel used to solve everything?
For example, I would travel back in time right now to ten minutes ago to tell myself to stop writing about time travel because I’m already bored.
This is Future You. Stop writing already. I’m already bored of this. Go watch some porn or something.
Future You, out.
Wow, I did come back from the future. Thanks Future Me! I’m off to watch some porn.